I’ve got nothing to say today. My blog was started with the intent to let you into the not-so-typical mind of a minster. The fact of the matter is, most ministers will be the first to admit that we’re normal people. We struggle. We fail. We doubt. We’re in the spotlight often, and so when you hear of a pastor or minister failing, it’s normally a huge fall or a publically humiliating situation. I’ve heard of ministers having affairs, embezzling money, getting caught in inappropriate relationships that aren’t actual affairs. I’ve even heard of pastors who decided everything they believed wasn’t true and walked away from God entirely. Just because you don’t hear of any of the ministers you know personally or that you follow falling from Grace, don’t think they don’t fail. That’s a mistake that puts unnecessary stress and strain on your ministers and minister friends. It’s unfair because when (not if) they disappoint you, if you’ve set them up on some above-average-people pedestal you’ll be shaken at their lack of super-human ability.
Let me tell you why it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. I’ve had nothing to say. I’ve wanted to only write when God shows me something super-amazing as opposed to just letting you know the little things that go on. That’s going to change. For one thing, I’ve not spent the time with Christ that I’ve wanted to. No, it’s not about doing stuff so God likes me, but in relationship I want to spend time with him, instead of running from him. That’s a huge change from my relationship prior to his change in my heart several months ago. I used to hide from him for weeks on end. Now, I’m allowing business to keep me from him, not a lack of desire. I desire God. I can’t tell you how awesome it is to be able to write that and it not be some sentimental gush. It’s finally truth. If it shocks you to think that I’ve had doubts about God or that I have never truly wanted him until now, and I’ve been a minister for 2+ years, then you’ve set me up on a pedestal. I struggle. I doubt. I worry. Boy, do I worry. Man, do I ever worry. In fact, I’ll take up that topic again soon. I just wanted to let you know I’m still here, God still speaks, and now I’m listening.
